So Fridays are my one day with Piper, my reward for working Monday through Thursday and barely having two hours with her between when I collect her from daycare and when she goes to bed. My make-up time, if you will. And I feel like I deserve them.
My problem is, not many people have the same desire to treat my Fridays as a holy day. People want to plan things, to stop by, to schedule appointments. Occasionally, if forced, I make an exception. But it's a slippery slope. Because let's face it, there's always good reason to see me on a Friday. A pressing reason. A reason why Saturday or Sunday wouldn't work as well. If I start to give up my time on Fridays, it's like leaking a drop of blood in an ocean of sharks.
My need to protect my Friday time with Piper is so strong. But how do I defend it without seeming like an inflexible witch? Does it make sense to anyone else out there that I'd want this world - this world that keeps monopolizing and sucking away my precious, precious time with my beautiful baby girl - TO LEAVE ME ALONE ON FRIDAY????????
No seriously. I'm asking???
Everyone wants a piece
Stinker
No, not Piper, although every once in a great while she can be a little stinker :) It's me. Lately I stink as a blogger, and I'm not sure that I can recover. Life is so full - I worry that I won't ever have time to blog again. Which is so sad because I love it and miss it! I'm torn - should I give up now and let it go? Or keep trying (and most likely failing miserably?).
I started a blog about Piper that's for our family to keep up on the happenings with the little munchkin. But I do think it'd be healthy to continue to have a blog of my own, since I still have an identity outside of just being a mother. Except that, let's be honest. Right now I don't. I work from home, four long days. Then Friday through Sunday I spend as much time as possible with Piper and run around doing all the things that running a household, being a wife and being a mom involve. Not to mention being a friend, sister, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, etc. There's not time left over to define myself as an individual independent of someone else. And certainly no time to be interesting.
And maybe I'll never have that time again. But, maybe I will. I'm not sure. So for now, if you ever check this blog, I can't promise anything dramatic. But if you hang in there, I may be able to deliver a grown-up blog again someday :)
Wishing the day away
Bye Bye Mommy
First day of daycare tomorrow - Piper's bag is packed, we're ready to go. Hubs read "Bye Bye Mommy" to Piper tonight, a book about getting dropped off at daycare (I can't even read it - it's too upsetting). I'm so sad. I know it's not that different - I've had family caring for Piper but I've been back to work for six weeks. Still, I've been home and she's been home. Tomorrow I'll be home and she'll be someplace else and that breaks my heart. My plan was to keep Piper out of daycare for as long as possible, but I think I waited just a little too long. Last week - just last week - she started getting separation anxiety. I can't even bear to think of her crying when I leave her tomorrow. I know, I know, I'm not - by far - the first to go through this, and I won't be the last. But I'll have a tough day tomorrow all the same.
Broken promises
All's well that ends well
Two pumps were hand delivered to my door no less than 40 minutes after my pump left me high and not so dry. By a husband no less. Friends (especially friends who live close and just switched to formula) are good to have. And it was priceless to have the husband telling me "Now this is the letdown button..."