No one's gonna do it for you

5 Things I Didn't Know about Pregnancy:  My thoughts and advice for anyone who wants it

• At about 35 weeks, your ligaments might start to stretch as the baby descends further into your pelvis.  This, and not just overall pregnancy weight gain, is what often causes pregnant women to appear to waddle.  UNBELIEVABLE PAIN - not chub, it turns out - is the culprit!  My OB told me gently, "These are what they call the aches and pains of pregnancy."  Yeah, I'd kinda thought that after my award winning morning sickness, I would just avoid those.  I've skated along since trimester one.  But with 5 weeks to go, my luck is apparently running low...
• Having a baby, and having your family be excited about your having a baby, can be the #1 cause of overwhelming stress in your pregnancy.  And life.  Positive stress?  If I'm not being totally self-pitying, yes.  The fact that so many people are lined up and ready to love and spoil this little princess rotten is incredibly good fortune for her and for us.  But it doesn't mean it's always easy to navigate everyone else's opinions and expectations about your baby.  With the operative word being "your."
• No one really cuts you a break just because you're pregnant.  You still have to work.  Hard.  And cook and clean.  And walk the dog.  And attend to your church/community obligations.  And make and keep plans with friends and family no matter how exhausted you are or how swollen your cankles.  That being said, notice I said "no one cuts you a break."  That doesn't mean breaks can't be cut.  That means you're your only advocate, so speak up and assert your limits or spend the better part of ten months being disappointed by other people's lack of understanding about how hard it really truly is to bring another life into the world. 
• You will probably at some point be weirded out by your body, your baby, or both.  For example, when her limbs stick out and she moves beneath your skin like an alien.  Or when the doc checks your cervix and tells you that she can feel the baby's head with her fingers. 
• I don't have a 5th thing right now.  We had some family drama and were up late last night, and now have very busy rest-of-the-week through the weekend.  So if you couldn't tell from my first four thoughts, I'm tired, a little cranky, and in need of a break that I'm not assertive enough to take!!!!!

No rest for the weary

Back from another consignment sale.  Swollen ankles, several great deals...  going to fall into bed now...

Accentuate the positive

This past week(end) has been a very stressful one, with our first formal shower and lots of increased anxiety around getting things done and orchestrating roles for the people involved in this baby project.  With Dan and I coming from two very different families, it's a bit of a struggle to manage everyone's expectations and involvement in a way that keeps them, and us, happy and sane.  And my focus is definitely moving more toward the us.  For the sake of this baby, we need to be calm and centered and ensure that our own needs are firmly met.

 

On the bright side, admist all this stress we had a great ultrasound yesterday and everything looks perfect!  My low-lying placenta has righted itself, so no pre-determined c-section for this mama!  It may still happen, of course, who knows?  But at least it isn't a given.  And the baby looks wonderful - measuring right on target, with a fast/strong heartbeat.  She's a mini acrobat, twisting and turning and kicking and punching with gusto.  It's actually becoming a little uncomfortable - I can tell she's outgrowing her quarters.  Which I also see as a good sign - no need to overstay your lease, little one.  Head on out any time after my birthday in May (that's the date by which we plan to be 'ready to go' at any moment, should she decide to come a little early).

 

So all in all it's been a bad week, with our OB appointment being a happy bright spot in our yesterday.  I need to manage my stress better and take better care of myself, so that's what I'm vowing to do now.  I just learned of a friend's sister who had her 20 week ultrasound only to learn the baby had no heartbeat, and she's being induced on Friday.  It made me realize that we're lucky, and I should start acting like it.  If, in order to do that, I need to set firm boundaries to prevent outside stressors from taking over, then so be it.  I'll set 'em.  I want to be a happy, healthy mama.

Another milestone!

Everyone measures milestones differently. This isn't a baby milestone, but it's definitely a 'get ready for baby' milestone - we have a crib! And I love it! We found a mint condition crib at a consignment sale for 1/3 the price! It's lovely. It pays to wait in line before the sale even opens, like a crazy person, in the rain :) YAY!

Now we just need the rest of the nursery furniture... but one step at a time. We've got a few more quality consignment sales on the books so we're not sure what we'll find. Our area is ripe with stay-at-home moms, and boy do they know how to do up the sales - both planning them and taking advantage of them. Plus we've got three showers. So I need to be patient, but I can't shake the gut feeling that this little girl is going to come early. And I want to be ready.

Pictures of you

We get to see our baby girl at our OB appointment this Tuesday. At 20 weeks I had a low lying placenta and they want to make sure it's moved (I'm not even going to start stressing about that since in most cases, from what I've heard, the placenta will have shifted as the uterus grows).

I can't wait to see her! It's been months since we've had an ultrasound. YAY!

I'm trying to think of something, anything, non baby-related to write about, but let's face it - she's all there is right now. Which is probably how it should be.

I have my first baby shower this Sunday.

Oh, wait, I did think of something non baby-related! But crap, I forgot it already! Seriously?! Yup, I did. It's gone. Maybe next time.

Friday!

I kind of thought Friday might never come this week!  But it has!  Oh, thank you horrendously stressful and busy week, for FINALLY ENDING! 

 

I've been thinking about bed rest lately.  Longing for, is more like it.  I plan to work up until I have this baby unless circumstances dictate otherwise, but recently I've decided that if circumstances did dictate otherwise (as early as, say, now) I'd be totally fine with that.  My ankles and feet have started swelling.  A lot.  Like, hello major kankles.  Last night I drank plenty of fluid, rested with my feet up before dinner, went for a walk and then finally slept with my feet up in the hopes that I would once again be able see my ankle bones this morning.  Success!  But short lived success - they are starting to bulge again and it's not even noon.  It's the numbing, painful kind of swelling that leaves you aching for the day to end.  And, on some days, tearful when it won't come fast enough.

 

I have to say I've probably gotten off easy up till now.  I mean, okay, the first trimester (or at least the first trimester pre-Zofran) was hands down the most miserable physical experience of my life.  But post-Zofran, I've had a decent pregnancy.  I don't like carrying around extra weight, and I'm exhausted.  My back hurts.  My clothes don't fit (obviously) and getting dressed for work is a struggle.  But other than that, I'm not limited by being pregnant.  I can still do most of what I want to do.  Maybe I can't bend over quite as easily anymore, but even that, if push came to shove, I could manage. 

 

But I think I'm nearing that stage now, starting the 33rd week, where I'm uncomfortable.  And it's mostly the kankles that are doing me in.  That and the back pain.  So if my doctor told me that she'd prefer I no longer haul my large belly into the office and instead stay at home with my feet propped up, I'd take her up on the offer even though the loose ends aren't yet neatly tied up here at work.  I had my meeting with HR yesterday about leave paperwork, so I'm ready to go whenever I get the signal from my doctor or my uterus. 

 

Sadly, my OB just had a baby about five months ago.  She worked up until she delivered and then she was back in the office again 4 weeks later.  I'm not sensing that she's a sympathetic soul in this department, or that she has a loose wrist when it comes to signing off on disability paperwork.  So... how swollen do your kankles have to get before you have a legitimate case?  I'm guessing that unless they're accompanied by high blood pressure, I'm SOL...