Ohhhhh noooooooo

Okay, I think I need to stop reading my ADA daily news bulletins. They are too disturbing. This today:

Now, an American Heart Association review of a decade's worth of studies casts doubt on the health benefits of soy. The study shows soy supplements and foods, including soymilk, don't significantly impact heart disease as researchers had thought. Researchers found soy only lowered bad cholesterol by 3 percent and had no impact on good cholesterol.

I totally got behind the soy movement. I looooove soy nuts, tofu, soy milk, edamame. But I'm not sure if I looooove it because I love it, or if I looooove it because I know it's healthy. I'm worried it might be the latter. Although maybe it's partly because soy is so versatile - it can be a meat substitute, a rice cake, a nut, a bean, or a beverage - talk about wearing a lot of hats. That's a little impressive.

Still, it's a great source of complete protein. But I was happier when I thought it was a miracle food. Well, long live chicken I guess. Too bad :(


Just not right

Wonder bread is releasing a new whole wheat version of the squishy original.

Hmmm. We bellyached so much about wanting whole grains in our carbs (after we bellyached so much because we no longer wanted to eat carbs at all, but then buckled a bit as we went through starch withdrawal). Now look what we've gone and done. Ew.


A (brief) moment of clarity

So today I had lunch with Boyfriend at the EC caf, and it's Burrito Week. Our favorite week by far, although Asian Noodle Bowl Week is pretty high up on the list. I was really excited to see that today their salsa option was orange cilantro salsa. So I ordered my burrito (they're made to order during BW, I'm telling you, it's fabulous) and asked for salsa on the side. But when the guy handed me my burrito, I realized he'd put regular salsa on the side, and not the fancy orange cilantro salsa. "This is awful!" I moaned to BF. "I was sooo excited about the orange mango salsa!"

"Cilantro," he corrected.

"Whatever, I was just really excited about that part. That was the whole reason I wanted a burrito at all!" (This wasn't entirely true, since I'd been wanting a burrito since the night before, when BF announced it was Burrito Week. I'd been thinking about that burrito all morning long. I'd mapped out my topping choices in staff meeting.)

"Go back and ask for the orange kind," BF recommended calmly.

"Noooooooo. It's too late. There'll be too much salsa then, it will be like a salsa explosion on my plate." We walked over to the salad bar. I leaned against it, pouting. "What am I going to do? There's no solution!"

"I'm just so disappointed." I added, in case he wasn't getting the idea. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, and I decided to reign it in a little. "I'll get over it in a minute, it just stinks!"

I couldn't help but look over at BF's plate, and wonder why he wasn't offering to trade burritos with me. Not that he should have offered, but it's probably no surprise to you if I admit that I'm ridiculously spoiled sometimes. (Don't worry, I wouldn't have taken it if he had offered. I'm not that awful.) Eventually I stopped whining about the salsa mishap, but I remained sullen.

After we'd been sitting down for a few minutes, I admitted that my burrito was pretty good. BF said, "See, it's better that we didn't get the orange cilantro salsa. Maybe that wouldn't have been as good."

"But you got it." I pointed out, a small amount of sulk creeping back into my voice.

"No, I didn't order it right either," BF said. "Mine has regular salsa on it too."

"Wow," I said, shocked and a little confused. "It does? But your reaction was so different than mine..."

He didn't say anything. He didn't have to. I changed the subject, just so we both weren't sitting there thinking about what a drama queen I am.


From Austin to Boston

Today my sister C called me from Austin in need of the kind of sympathy that only a sister can give - total, non-judgmental, my-heart-aches-for-you sympathy. Sisterly sympathy doesn't concern itself with what a idiot/whiner/neurotic you're being, and sisterly sympathy never involves the phrases "I told you so (of course he'll notice you've sold his dog on ebay)!" or "What did you think was going to happen (you're sleeping with two men at once)!". It's an unwavering kind of sympathy that disregards all periphery aspects of the situation and hones in only on your immediate pain. Sisterly sympathy allows you to be there when your sister isn't being a particularly good person, or makes one bad decision after another with such reliability that you almost want to applaud her consistency. Or, when your sister's life seems idyllic to everyone else, but she just wants to complain about something completely trivial. It's the kind of sympathy you give when there is no debate as to on whose side, when it comes down to it, you're going to fall if and when the shit hits the fan.

It's nice to know that there are people out there who can give you that kind of sympathy. Hopefully you won't need it often, but it's an invaluable thing to call upon. Especially during those moments when things in your life haven't gone quite as you've planned, and you're all out of explanations.

Or those moments, as was the case with C today, when everything you're eating lately tastes "a little more citrus-y than usual". Hey, it can't always be a crisis.



Today we had our division-wide anti discrimination/sexual harassment training. You'd think that could be at the very least amusing, and you'd be right. Save one fact - Boyfriend, in addition to being a fabulous and devoted partner, is also my colleague. Which made for some uncomfortable moments when the subject of workplace dating came up. Ick. Thankfully, it's not prohibited at EC. (I learned this today, since I'd never bothered to investigate the matter previously because I am a devout follower the None of Their Goddamn Business philosophy.) But it is, as I also learned today, "Strongly discouraged." Hmmm. I don't know if everyone in the room was really looking at us, but it certainly felt like it. I probably appeared avoidant when the topic was raised because I was staring up at the ceiling. But really I was just trying to figure out where the air vent was located, since in a matter of minutes the conference room had turned into Antarctica, yet no vents were apparent to the naked eye. Tricky design plan.


Amusing, but a little bit frightening

Today at the CHW our fax machine broke, and I happened to be waiting for two important and timely faxes. I called around to the other offices in our building, to ask if I could use their fax machine to receive my incoming docs. Within the building, two other fax machines were broken (which begs the question, how often do fax machines malfunction!???), and another one had run out of toner. We had toner in our office, so I brought it downstairs to see if it was compatible with my coworker C's fax machine. Nope. Then I started to panic. What now? No one had a fax machine I could use. I frantically called our fax machine repair guy - he couldn't come out until tomorrow morning!!! I needed to sign and return those papers! And I really needed to do it this afternoon!

I'm ashamed to say it took me an hour to come up with this solution: The office I needed the faxes from was located directly across the street from me. I could walk over to get the docs! (Yes, folks, this is life in higher ed administration.)

So I walked across the street. It's crazy how reliant we are on modern technology. This is an extreme, and embarrassing, example, but the point is relevant.


Speak now or forever hold your tongue

It's a great movie about family dynamics over the holidays. It comforted me to think that my people, dysfunctional though they may be, aren't that crazy! But honestly, the family portrayed is really very sweet and lovable.

Topping the Lovability List is Ben, the character played by dopey, unassuming Luke Wilson. Luke Wilson is one seriously lovable guy. He's irresistibly lovable. In every role he plays he's so laid back and kind, and always a little bit wise. I wonder what he's like in real life. Of course, actors are actors because they pretend to be someone they're not and they do that really well. But it's impossible not to create a personality for them, either based on their general vibe or on the characters they play, because they seem so familiar to us. They're in our everyday lives. Well, at least they are if you're addicted to People.

I would be so heartbroken if I ever found out that Luke Wilson is really a bastard. I made an error in judgment once, when I chose Billy Bob Thorton as my first Celebrity Husband. What an ass he turned out to be - whenever I see him being interviewed I cringe at his very pompous, very intentional lack of pomp. Edward Norton was my second CH, and he and I hung in there for years. But, not being very good with commitment, I eventually had to go mainstream with Matt Damon. He married his personal assistant for crying out loud! How can you not love a good ol' down to earth New England boy? Plus he had some kickass fight scenes in The Bourne Identity. Finally, my inner anglophile overtook me, and the underdog Chris Martin became my CH #4. Everyone makes fun of how ugly he is - I can't resist rooting for him and his crooked rock 'n' roll Brit smile. And now, fickle-hearted, I'm contemplating a 5th go at things, with none other than Mr. Wilson. If you've got any dirt on him, please fill me in so I don't have another black mark on my record. That whole vile-of-blood-necklace thing is impossible to live down.


Ohhhhhhhhhh, yeah okay.....

All last night I listened to the news in the background and repeatedly heard the headline story "Minors trapped after explosion! Rescuers unable to get through to help because of dangerous fumes." I kept wondering, what are a bunch of kids doing down in a West Virginia mine shaft? I mean, what about child labor laws? Then I read about it in the paper this morning: "Miners trapped!" Ahhh. This is like when I learned that the phrase "doggie dog world" was actually "dog eat dog world". Makes much more sense that way.