Whazzup in the garden

Some developments in the world of gardening, both good and bad.

To start with indoor, the Elephant Ear is coming along nicely! It's grown some new ears, and has some baby ears! It has the tiniest baby ears growing, but they're so small whenever I tried to get a picture they came out blurry. So here's regular and baby ears, and just imagine the tiniest baby ears being the size of a Tic Tac.

Outside, we have three of these Lanai Peach Verbena. Two were almost dead when I planted them. And look at them now - this was one of the near dead ones, come fully back to blooming life! All three are doing better and better each day.

This guy, I don't even know what it is - I must have thrown away the label. And I'd given up hope that it would flower. But then I peeked at the garden yesterday and it had one pretty white flower! And today, two! If anyone can identify it, that'd be helpful.

These Supertunias are part of the not-so-good news. The one near the bottom of the picture is ailing, perhaps beyond repair. I just moved it next to the other one today. It was in the corner of the garden patch that gets the least amount of sun, behind a Hydrangea. The Hydrangea blocks out what little light it would have gotten. I gave it a few days to see if it could pick itself up and adjust to the shady spot, but no luck. So here's hopefully what will end up being a before photo. So far, the Supertunias have grown great and been really hardy. I hope this one can do an end-of-summer turn around, but I'm not sure the odds. If it were earlier in the season I'd say definitely, but I'm just not certain. We'll see!

This Russian Sage was alive but never thriving before I moved it into the perrenial garden plot. Now it's pretty well dead.

But, I found this today, so I'm not giving up hope completely! It could be a weed, but I think it's part of the plant.

Here's the other one, so this is what a healthy Russian Sage looks like. They're in the same plot, very near each other, so I'm not sure why the transplant worked for one and has nearly done in the other. (Sorry for the blurriness, could not get a clear picture of the thriving one...)

Here is some more of the good news now. This Autumn Joy is finally looking joyful! It looked almost like a light green head of broccoli for ages, but it's supposed to turn a beautful pinkish-red in the fall.

And here's the Pink Diamond Hydrangea, finally turning... PINK! Slightly. Slowly. But hey, I'll take it!


Surpassing all expectation

The Minnesota State Fair was so much fun!

We got to see and pet a ton of animals. How adorable is that piglet? Can you stand it? I wanted to grab his pink little snout and kiss him! He is 15 days old. OMG, it's too much cuteness!

We walked around and checked out tons of stuff: Minnesota agriculture displays, fine arts, educational displays, farm equipment, and motor homes. (Hubs really wants a motor home. Some cost scant less than the down payment on our house, so I don't see a motor home in our future.)

In the Dairy Barn, we visited the Butter Bust displays. This is a butter bust of Princess Kay of the Milky Way, the queen of the Minnesota State Fair. Apparently all of the eligible young pageant ladies are turned into Butter Busts. They have to sit in a walk-in freezer while they're likeness is being carved - the indignity! But it's no indignity when it's for the State Fair - a shot at royalty is worth a few goosebumps. Since Kristy was elected Princess Kay, her Butter Bust was graced with the tiara.

After we left the Dairy Barn, we got some cheese curds (as disgusting, and yummy, as you might imagine - deep fried mozzerella nuggets), hot dogs, and homemade chocolate chip cookies and milk.

In order to settle our stomachs we ended our day by going on some rides. I wasn't sure I could do it, because the idea of carnival rides wigs me out (more so than amusement park rides, maybe because carnival rides are only used 12 out of the 365 days of the year). But it was fun! I was terrified, but I had Hubs so I felt brave.

On our way back to the shuttle, we passed the Marines. They were giving out lanyards or t-shirts for men who could do either 10 (lanyard) or 20 (t-shirt) pull-ups, or women who could do the flex arm hang for 90 seconds (t-shirt). I gave it a shot and won a t-shirt! I would have felt ├╝ber tough, since no other women could flex arm hang for more than 45 seconds, but then this chick in a short purple dress with kick-ass guns got up and did 13 pull-ups. Holy crap!

Still, my t-shirt says Pain is just weakness leaving the body. Niiiiiiiiiiiiiice. Marines rock.

We left for the fair grounds in the morning and by the time we got home is was 9 o'clock at night. We were exhausted and fell into bed, tummies still actively trying to digest all the nasty food that is de rigueur for the fair experience.


Fair enough

Hubs took the day off today, and he's taking me to Minnesota State Fair! I know, I know, you totally can't decide whether to be happy or horrified for me. How crazy is that? (For many of you, state fairs may not be so crazy, but for the folks from Boston, come on - CRAZY!) I am stoked about the state fair. There is a special pig house, a sheep house, a dog house, a horse house, and all the milk you can drink. So far that's all anyone's told me. I will take pictures.


Tredding on unstable ethical ground

I have a question. Is it immoral to request a book from the library in large print because the waiting list for large print is 6 people, and the waiting list for regular print is 256 people? Are you supposed to leave the large print books for the people who can't see well enough to read the smaller print? I'm being dead serious, if it's a crap thing to do I won't do it. Well, yeah, okay, I already did it. But I'll undo it. I'm in no mad hurry to read this book. It's just sometimes I don't mind the large print... maybe it's laziness or the fact that I read so slowly anyhow... sometimes it's nice to have big letters... and with the shorter wait list I thought why not? It's shitty, yeah? Is it? It's starting to sound like a shitty thing to do. Anybody got a ruling on this one?


Back to school

Today I went to help my MIL set up her Spanish classroom at the private Catholic school where she teaches. It was weird being back in a school - not a college, not even a high school, a little kid school! - and I even got to each lunch in the teachers lounge! First time I've ever been allowed in the teachers lounge!

Throughout the school, I couldn't help thinking everything WAS JUST SO DANG CUTE! My heart was melting and my baby lust was fully recognized. My MIL even gave me some cute smiley face and heart stickers to take home (to do what with I don't know, but I just thought they were, you guessed it, SO DANG CUTE!).

My niece Natalie started kindergarten yesterday and it went very well! She didn't cry at all. Only one kid cried, and that poor lil' dude's branded a wussy for the rest of the year, if not the rest of his life. Natalie couldn't remember most of her new classmates' names, but she remembered her preschool friend's name, and O's. Who's O?, my sis asked her. The Kid Who Cried.

Anyway, today was a fun day. I got back to school fever. This is the first time in my adult life that I haven't a) been going to school or b) been working at a school. So back to school is happening around me, but without me. It's ODD. I'm no longer responsible for anyone. I no longer have to watch what I say and do in order to be a good role model. I can actually drink in public. Okay, since we're ttc I shouldn't actually drink in public, or anywhere else for that matter, but you get the idea.

My MIL and I have been spending more and more time together, and we get along quite well! When we were wedding planning in Boston, she and I banged heads several times, and even when we'd decided to move out here I was worried. But now it's like I get to see all the positive sides of my MIL, and so I can understand what's behind her actions when she's a bit... involved in our lives. Developing a positive relationship with her has been possibly the most pleasant surprise since we've arrived in Minnesota.

On a negative note: no word on the job since they started calling my references Friday. What does this mean? Who the hell knows. I'm tired of guessing.

I'm debating going to a pilates class tonight. The doc did say no working out, but I can walk and do yoga. Is pilates yoga-ish enough that it's the same thing? If not, there's an actual yoga class tomorrow.



Better late than never: here are some pictures of the inside of the house. Only one room today, but I'll get to the rest sometime I promise! Anyhow, here's our kitchen. Boy, do I have plans for our kitchen! Hubs doesn't like to hear them all, but I want stainless steel appliances and granite counter tops (I know, I know, who doesn't?). I have a long and short list of all the stuff I want to do to our house (it's only 9 years old, so it's all cosmetic). The aforementioned kitchen updates are sadly on the long list, meaning won't happen in the near future.


Move in day

This is a photo taken by my MIL the day we first moved in. And yes, he really did carry me over the threshold. Not sure if that was for the photo op, or just for tradition :)


Shut down, breathe, reboot

I had a small breakdown this week, not hearing boo about the job I interviewed for and not seeing Hubs at all. On top of that, my hormones are a mess and it's playing with my head.

But yesterday morning Pow called to tell me she'd just gotten a reference call for me. So, I guess I'm still in the running for that job. Although the woman who called Pow did share with her that they'd had a ton of very impressive applicants, so I'm not sure if I'm the only person they're calling for background on. Regardless, I'm feeling much better about things. I applied for three more jobs on Friday, since nothing is near certain and I want to keep all my options open.

Hubs came home last night, so I got to spend some time with him, although not much. And he left a few hours ago - he'll be staying on campus again tonight. And although he'll be home Sunday, it won't be until late, and he works late Monday night as well. But I got what I needed - some quality time. It'll hold me over.

To cap it off, today is a GORGEOUS day. Bright, clear, sunny, with a cool breeze. It's been muggy all week so we've had the ac on, but today we opened up the house and the window treatments are blowing in the gentle breeze. It's lovely.

I still haven't made up my mind about the puppy thing yet. The woman with the Whippet puppies hasn't emailed me back, so maybe she sold them all. Perhaps it's a sign.

I finished my sad book and am onto another one, this one less sad. I've read 14 books in the 8 weeks we've been here, if you don't count the gardening or ttc books I've leafed through.

AND, we finally have the right kind of bread for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. For the past two months we've been getting bread made by the monks on Hubs' campus, which is more rye-like in texture (but so good!). It's perfect for ham and salami sandwiches, but doesn't work for peanut butter. This morning we just got plain wheat bread, and now I'm filling my battle worn tummy (the stress of job stuff this week did a number on it) with soft bread and sticky, gooey peanut butter. Finally, something I actually want to eat. Anxiety murders my appetite, which is not helpful.

Did I mention we're throwing Hubs' parents a 40th wedding anniversary party this month? They're in Mexico right now, and this morning we drove to their house to leave them some beautiful peach roses and a card to welcome them home. I've been watering my MIL's garden all week, which has actually been relaxing and fun. I sit back there, prop my feet on the wooden railroad ties that are stacked up like a wall, and read - it's a beautiful garden and their house borders a wooded area, so it's cool, quiet, and smells just a little bit like you're not in the suburbs. Which, of course, you still are. But I have a pretty decent imagination, and it feels like an escape.


The plots thicken

So, the three garden plots. They don't look like much, but it's been tough work to get them all to the point they're at now.

This is the one between the front stones and the garage. They're all annuals, so this plot will need to be replanted in the spring. If you can make out the little peach flowers in the very front row on the right and left, those were dying when I planted them and have come back to life surprisingly quickly and well. I'd pruned them back to next to nothing, but before long they were leafy, and now they're starting to show their first signs of flowers!

These are the two hydrangeas with an Autumn Joy in the middle and some purple and white petunias around them. There are white petunias all the way on the left that you can't see well in this picture.

This plot is made up of this Pink Diamond hydrangea (yeah, it's not pink, what gives?), two Russian Sages, an Autumn Joy, and an Annabelle hygrangea at the other end.

Here is the Annabelle at the far end. It isn't blooming, but if you could have seen what it looked like when I first planted it (dead), you'd know this is a vast improvement. The hydrangeas have been really hard to keep up with. They require so much attention (and water).

And, here's the Elephant Ear I dug up and put in a planter. It's doing better today, but still doesn't seem as happy or healthy as it did when it was in the ground outside.

I seem to have very high maintenance plants. Maybe they're all like that? The annuals are thriving the most and are the least work, but then again they die much much sooner than the others.


Big house, little me

No word yet on the job I interviewed for twice last week. Waiting... nice and patient. This is me, being nice and patient as I wait.

I'm trying to keep myself busy by continuing to apply for other jobs, but I'm really hoping the end of my job search will come in the form of a happy phone call sometime in the next day. I guess we'll see. I'm also keeping busy with gardening. Or potting, really, since I pulled the Elephant Ear out of the garden and am trying to revive it in a giant red ceramic planter. So far, not so good.

Because I don't have a baby yet and have become way too invested in my leafy friends, we've (read: I've) reopened the puppy discussion. I may go see some Whippet puppies sometime this week. Just to look. Take a peek. See what's out there. It'll be a challenge to come home empty handed... but I'm trying to remember the horror that, at times, was Hero. It's hard to remember now, because I'm in need of something to care for. Anything will do, but something with a pulse would be better than something that photosynthesizes.

Hubs is away at work right now - he's so busy with training the next two days that he's sleeping up at an apartment on campus. Not that he was home a lot before that anyway - for the past three weeks or so he typically came home at around 9pm, was in bed by 10pm, and went back to work by 7am. Things should return to normal in another few weeks. But for now, I feel rather... single. Not single as in footloose and fancy free, but single as in just me. I've returned to eating Lean Cuisine frozen dinner or picking at random snacks throughout the evening and calling it a well balanced meal. I read nonstop, walk around with face masks on, and take a lot of baths. I talk on the phone. I shower right before bed and get the sheets and pillowcases all wet with my dripping hair. It would be good times, if I didn't miss Hubs. I'm trying to enjoy it for what it's worth though, since I can't change the situation anyway.

I skimmed ahead in the book I'm currently reading and know that the main character's husband is dead. She doesn't know yet. I have a horrible habit of skipping ahead if I think someone's going to die, because I know it will upset me. And I guess I'd rather get it over with. (I'd skipped ahead and discovered Dumbledore was going to die before I was barely 10 pages into book 6.) Now that I know, though, I'm not sure how much I want to keep reading. It's incredibly sad. But the book is actually quite funny, overall. I'm assuming the sad part is mainly the finding out he's dead part, and now that I've got that over with...

If only I had a job, I would be too busy for all this scheming and cheating! Come on, hire this girl already!



My previous two complaints are still valid, but the spot on the carpet is gone! At least, almost entirely gone. I can still see it, but even I can tell that this is because I know it's there. YAY! Thank you Woolite Oxy Clean!

I still had to talk about my job search a gazillion times last night, and one conversation was ridiculously uncomfortable (how do you not notice when you're making someone feel like crap by pointing out all the worst possible scenarios for their jobless future?).

Anyway, let's stick with the positive: my clean carpet!

Hopefully the focus of the OCD I've clearly been exhibiting won't immediately turn to some other imperfection in our house. I could use a reprieve from myself :)


All sorts of frustrated and nowhere to go

I am a bit frustrated. For two reasons. No, make that three.

One, the stupid f*cking carpet. I can't take it! The spot gets better, but won't go away. And this requires a great deal of patience, which is something I've plum run out of.

Two, I'm so tired of waiting for things to happen on the job front. I know this week finally showed some progress and I should be grateful for that, but I just want to know if I got the job I interviewed for. I hate continuing to surf employment websites and draft cover letters. In a few hours we're going to a barbeque with friends and I know I'll have to explain a million times over what's happening with my job search.

Three, as per doctor's orders, I'm not supposed to be exercising right now. Which is a very long story, and has to do with my body fat %age being a touch on the low side. And no I am not pregnant. Anyway, this edict leaves me looking wistfully at my ipod, my running shoes, and all things spandex. I am at a loss. Exercise was my way of coping with all the pent up energy I naturally seem to have.

So here I am, sitting at the computer, when I would normally be headed to Lifetime Fitness. I miss the sweat dripping down my face so much I can practically feel it. I miss the fatigue that comes from working as hard as you possibly can. I miss moving around. I miss being me.

And I hate hate hate that stupid f*cking carpet.


The enormousness of petites

About a month before we left Boston, a sales woman enlightened me: I should be shopping in the petites section. Wha? I'm not super tall , but my limbs are like those of Elastic Man. How could I be a petite? Well, whatever, I am. I can't understand it so I've chosen to stop questioning it. She was right: clothes in the petite section fit me. Like, off the hanger fit me. Which is nothing short of a miracle.

My job interview went well, thanks in part to the petites section of Ann Taylor Loft. I went there Tuesday when I found out they wanted me to come back for a second interview Wednesday and I was plum out of summer suit wear. Lucky for me, I found something cute and very professional. And it goes with the one pair of heels I own.

As for the job, they said they want to make their decision early next week. The woman in charge of the hiring is out of town for the rest of the week. So please cross fingers and toes that they pick me! So far, no reference calls have been made (I'm in close contact with all my references so they always email me or call me if someone contacts them, and then they fill me in on all the glowing praise they gave me - it's a great setup).

So on a different but related note, today I went to my new doctor and of course they weighed and measured me. And shockingly, they measured me at 5'2 1/4".

"How can this be?" I asked. "I always thought I was 5'3 1/4"?"

The nurse just smiled.

"Seriously, did I shrink?"

The nurse's smile broadened. "People often think they're taller than they actually are."

I was not to be placated. "But really, I've measured 5'3 1/4" for years!" A horrifying thought occurred to me: "I've been rounding up to 5'4", for God's sake!"

The nurse gave me a wink. "Looks like we made a liar out of you, then, huh?"

I laughed. "I guess so! Wow, it's like my whole life changed in this one moment."

The nurse looked hesitant. "I'm almost afraid to put you on the scale now."

This unexpected news flash really makes me rethink the whole petites thing. Maybe it's not so weird after all. I mean, 5'2" sounds petite to me. 5'4" didn't. I walked out to my car after my appointment and slumped into the drivers seat. Should I readjust the seat positioning? I mean, I'm actually a small person, apparently. Do I need a pillow booster under my butt? (Don't laugh, my mom does that.)

I turned the ignition so I could deal with my newly discovered petiteness in the cool of the air conditioning. And I was left thinking, as I so often am, that life is just full of surprises you don't see coming. Once again, the world shifts oh so slightly, and things are just that little bit different. I bunched up my sweatshirt, stuck it under my *ss, and pulled out of the parking lot.


Trial run

Hubs has listened to me practice my presentation for my interview tomorrow about 20 times. He's a great pretend audience. I'd say I often forget to appreciate the little things that make Hubs such a great partner, but the truth is, I think about them every day. What can I say? We're newlyweds.


Team me

We had a pleasant enough weekend - on Friday, after Hubs' long week of training people decades older than him, we had a lovely, relaxing evening at home. Saturday we went to clean P's house, hopefully for the last time because I'm not sure how much more I can help.

Saturday night we made it home in time to cook dinner, take a walk to better examine the neighbors' landscaping, and go see The Dark Knight! It was very entertaining. It made me sad to see Health Ledger, whose acting skill I've admired since Brokeback Mountain. It's too bad for so many reasons that his life was cut short, probably the least of which is the loss of talent for the industry. He was amazing though - one of the few actors who genuinely seemed unrecognizable in character, even without the help of makeup and special effects. He was the real deal.

Sunday we took a test drive to where I have to go for my interview (it's a bit complicated to get to since it's downtown) and then did yard work. I dug up the hydrangeas and pruned the hell out of them. Then I replanted the Annabelle, but am soaking the two Pink Diamonds for twenty-four hours before replanting them. Two things the hydrangeas bring with them: great scents in the air, and bees. Lots of bees. Hadn't been expecting either, and only one is a pleasant surprise.

We've decided to dig up some of the perennials we'd planted in the third plot and move them into the other two plots: two Autumn Joys, two Russian Sages, a Lantana, and a Gloriosa Daisy. Cross your fingers, but so far the hydrangeas are all looking better.

Sunday evening I made dinner while Hubs recovered from mowing the lawn by watching the Olympics. We watched lots of swimming and the women's gymnastics team competition. Awesome swimming relay by the American men's team at the finish! So cool to watch the French trash talkers get their asses handed to them.

I told Hubs I think if only I'd been blessed with a more athletically capable body I'd have made an excellent Olympian because of how hard working, goal focused, and competitive I can be. And how totally calm I remain under pressure. Like a rock. I never lose my cool.

Hubs studied me a moment and seemed to choose his next words carefully. "I think you would have made an excellent Olympian."

I broke into a wide smile. "Thanks!" I hummed the Olympic anthem and bounced a little on the couch.

Hubs is great at not shattering the fantasies that make life (and the Olympics) a little more fun.


There goes the neighborhood

We just went for an after dinner walk. Coming through our backyard off the trail Hubs pointed to the far right corner of our lawn. "I can't believe we have a weed that's higher than our fence."

Yeah, we're the slackers of the neighborhood this season when it comes to all things green.


Hydrangeas on strike

My hydrangeas are not faring well. Two are doing okay, and two are droopy and the leaves are turning brown. Not dryed-up brown, but brown nonetheless.

Sad hydrangeas. If only I knew what you wanted.


Like a pendulum

At least this time on the upswing I get to go shopping.

So I have a job interview next week! At which I have to give a presentation. Fun times. Actually, I'm not a bad presenter so that's fine with me. And, YAY, let's not overlook the fact that finally someone wants to talk to me! Who cares if they ask me to juggle? As long as I get an invite to interview I'm down with whatever.

This does not draw much attention away from the carpet, however. It's been in a drying stage for two days now, and I *think* it looks better but it's really hard to tell. It looks great from one angle, not quite right from another. I'm hoping it just needs to finish drying completely. It's still absolutely driving me nuts. Crys, I got some kind of Oxy Deep carpet cleaner made by Woolite, not sure if that's in any way related to the Oxy Clean stuff you mentioned? I'm hoping I won't have to try them all, but I appreciate the suggestions from everyone. I'm definitely going to let the carpet dry 200% this time before I touch it again. I have a creeping suspicion that I just keep making things worse by being so impatient.

This weekend P asked us to come help again with cleaning his house to get it market-ready. Which I'm happy to do, but I also went over there this past Wednesday and I'm feeling a little cleaned out, ya know? Especially since I have to worry about our own house too. And now I need to shop for a summer suit (well okay, need being loosely defined here). Plus, Hubs and I haven't had a weekend to ourselves to relax in ages - I miss spending time with him that doesn't revolve around some kind of chore. There hasn't even been time to catch the new Batman movie!

Anyway, all in all things are looking a little better. The Batman movie would be icing on the cake. But I do like icing... :)


Displaced frustration

Okay, so I need to talk about the spot on the carpet. I know, I know, it's getting really ridiculous. I totally agree. But the thing is, the carpet is sort of permanent, at least for the time being. If the spot doesn't come out, what then? And the most vexing thing is that everything we do seems immediately to make it better and then later to make it worse. And it takes days to dry each time we treat it, so it's almost impossible to tell for ages.

Hubs is about ready to toss a throw rug over it and be done with my obsessiveness. It's like I have to look at it one hundred times a day. Last night when I came home from the gym Hubs met me at the garage door and reached out to hug me - I sort of maneuvered myself in his arms but he kept twisting me away from the laundry room door, from which I'd have a clear view of the living room carpet. "Want..... errrr..... to...... grmph..... see it!" He held on tight. "It's no different than it was when you left, Bug!" "But..... please..... oooph...... let me see.... it!" Finally he let go and I peeked through the doorway. I threw my arms up in the air. "WHY doesn't it look any better!" He sighed. "Husband who loves you. Right here. With open arms and kisses just for you." I sighed. "I know, and I love you too, but LOOK AT THAT STUPID SPOT!"

Here's the thing: this weekend we got the Little Green Steam Machine (thanks Jenny, fabulous idea - LOVE IT!) and treated the spot in the study (which is now gone, YAY!) and the spot in the living room. The spot in the living room is no longer dingy dirt, now it almost looks like it has too much carpet cleaner stuck in it. Which is how it was looking before the LGSM, it started to look like that after we used the Resolve on it. It's sort of... a darker version of the rug itself. Any ideas, anyone? It's possible it's still just wet... but unlikely that just wet could cause that big of a color distortion.

This is one of those times where clearly the issue is not the spot on the carpet, but the issue is totally the spot on the carpet.


Ti Riffic.

Hubs and I finally set up an old TiVo that came with a lifetime subscription which was given to us by Mookie, who'd gotten it as a cast off from his brilliant drunken colleague. And it works! It's an old version, but it's free! I'm so excited! We'd never spring for TiVo (certainly not now with me being sans income, but really probably not even if I were a productive money-earning member of society) so how pleasant that we get it anyway! It already recorded CSI Miami for us on it's own! Based on other shows we told it to record, it picked that one. We LOVE that one! TiVo apparently knows things about us. Maybe because it'd been sitting in a box in our apartment for over a year and heard what we watched on television.

Funny thing is, in Boston we watched a lot more tv than we do here. Not sure why. So when we had to pick shows we wanted it to record, we were sort of stumped and only came up with about two.



Yesterday we helped P clean his house so he can put it on the market this week. P and A are officially divorced, and that's just depressing. I was in charge of cleaning the kitchen, and as I scrubbed down the cabinets, floorboards, and appliances I came across a couple of little love notes written from A to P, presumably a long time ago. It was heartbreaking to see the remnants of their relationship.


Just shoot me. I'll provide the bullets.

So, life is not so hot this week.

But first, the happy news:

  • I just found out another friend is pregnant - yay S! She and her husband definitely deserve this.
Now, the bitching bullets:
  • No luck on the job front. That's getting really really hard to swallow. When I went to get the taillight on the Jetta fixed I gave the guy in Service my name, and he furrowed his brow. "You're not in here. Could it be under D or P Mac?" I sighed. "Yes, D." I don't even exist without a job - the car account doesn't even have my name on it! I was pretty well known in my professional circle back in Boston, and now no one wants to get to know me out here. I'm quality!!! Plus I'm adorable. Just let me have an interview, you'll see!
  • The no job thing is starting to play with my wellbeing. I'm getting very upset. Last night I was practically catatonic by the time Hubs came home. You know when you get so upset that you can't even talk in a voice that doesn't sound depressed and hallow? That was me. I'd been anxious all day, hadn't eaten, and hadn't showered. Fun to come home to, huh? Don't worry - I still did my wifely duties (my only duties right now) and cooked a nice healthy dinner and cleaned up afterward. I know my incomeless place in this household.
  • This weekend we have a bunch of chores to do. Saturday we're helping Hubs' parents move some furniture around in their house, and then going to help Hubs' brother P with some in-depth house cleaning (he's putting the place up for sale next week on account of his recently finalized divorce). Then we have a family birthday dinner for P. We also need to mow our lawn and garden, so it'll be a weekend with little down time.
  • Since Hero left there were two muddy sort of spots on our carpet. We've cleaned them with Resolve carpet cleaner but this only seems to be making it worse (or maybe it's that the spots are wet so they look worse - I don't know!!!). I am preoccupied with those GODDAMN SPOTS! What good is Resolve? I mean, COME ON! WORK ALREADY!
So, this is really all I've got. I'm in a crap mood. And don't even have any other job prospects to apply for. There's. Nothing. Talk about a bad time to be looking. I just never saw myself here. Without a job. Ever. In my life. It's taking some getting used to, and I'm not able to reconcile it in a healthy way. I tried to give myself a pep talk last night in the shower: 'Everything else in your life is great! The move went well, you love your new house and neighborhood, your healthy and married to a wonderful man. You have so many great things, not revolving around employment, to look forward to in the near future. Suck it up!' But I'm having a hard time remembering that now. I need to go stick some affirming post-it notes up around the house.