It comes in waves

J asked me why I was so quiet last night at her fundraising dinner. There were fifteen of us seated around a table in a private dining room and during the entire four course meal I barely uttered a word.

I miss my Grandma. When you lose someone, I think you expect to miss them the most when you're miserable. But you don't. You miss them the most when you're happy, when you have good stuff to share.

I know she's with me. I can feel her presence despite her absence. But I didn't get to tell her about my dress. I wanted to tell her about my dress. Sometimes it doesn't feel fair.