Are you sure we can't fix that with a little Wite-Out?

On the application for Holy Matrimony at Park Street Church in Boston:

In spite of the devaluation of sexual intimacy in our society, it is our conviction that such intimacy and/or cohabitation before marriage are not acceptable in the eyes of the Lord. Accordingly, couples who have not lived up to God's standards in this matter will be urged to repent - in part, by having their wedding as soon as practicable.


Ah, an Evangelical church. I didn't realize.

We won't marry there. Unless, apparently, we do it tomorrow.