Graceful exits

And then there's the other kind.

I think my therapist E is trying to terminate me. I'm being extremely resistant. The funny thing is, I talk with my therapist friends about clients who won't terminate. But it's different when it's you.

It reminds me of when I was a kid and we'd try to put my evil cat, Friskey, into his cat carrier. He would do that cat thing where they spread all four of their legs out so you can't push them in? Well, I'm pulling a similar stunt, just in the opposite direction.

It's scary letting go. I know as well as E that I don't need to keep seeing her on a biweekly basis. But I like knowing she's there. Simple as that. Today we sat in silence for the last half of my session. I don't care. I'll sit in silence and pay good money to do it. I'm on the longterm plan.

I think she'll eventually push the issue, as I'm sure it's a therapeutic necessity to terminate - it symbolizes healing and closure. But for now she reluctantly continues to schedule me every other week, same time same place. I told her she's welcome to read or do crossword puzzles during our 50 minutes together. As long as she shows up.

I'm really big on the just showing up.



SongBird said...

Oh, gosh, I had SUCH a hard time letting go of my therapist way back when. I felt so unwanted!! I found myself yearning for larger issues in my life again so that my therapist would deem me troubled enough to keep me on her client list.

9:59 PM