No rest for the weary

Back from another consignment sale.  Swollen ankles, several great deals...  going to fall into bed now...

Accentuate the positive

This past week(end) has been a very stressful one, with our first formal shower and lots of increased anxiety around getting things done and orchestrating roles for the people involved in this baby project.  With Dan and I coming from two very different families, it's a bit of a struggle to manage everyone's expectations and involvement in a way that keeps them, and us, happy and sane.  And my focus is definitely moving more toward the us.  For the sake of this baby, we need to be calm and centered and ensure that our own needs are firmly met.

 

On the bright side, admist all this stress we had a great ultrasound yesterday and everything looks perfect!  My low-lying placenta has righted itself, so no pre-determined c-section for this mama!  It may still happen, of course, who knows?  But at least it isn't a given.  And the baby looks wonderful - measuring right on target, with a fast/strong heartbeat.  She's a mini acrobat, twisting and turning and kicking and punching with gusto.  It's actually becoming a little uncomfortable - I can tell she's outgrowing her quarters.  Which I also see as a good sign - no need to overstay your lease, little one.  Head on out any time after my birthday in May (that's the date by which we plan to be 'ready to go' at any moment, should she decide to come a little early).

 

So all in all it's been a bad week, with our OB appointment being a happy bright spot in our yesterday.  I need to manage my stress better and take better care of myself, so that's what I'm vowing to do now.  I just learned of a friend's sister who had her 20 week ultrasound only to learn the baby had no heartbeat, and she's being induced on Friday.  It made me realize that we're lucky, and I should start acting like it.  If, in order to do that, I need to set firm boundaries to prevent outside stressors from taking over, then so be it.  I'll set 'em.  I want to be a happy, healthy mama.

Another milestone!

Everyone measures milestones differently. This isn't a baby milestone, but it's definitely a 'get ready for baby' milestone - we have a crib! And I love it! We found a mint condition crib at a consignment sale for 1/3 the price! It's lovely. It pays to wait in line before the sale even opens, like a crazy person, in the rain :) YAY!

Now we just need the rest of the nursery furniture... but one step at a time. We've got a few more quality consignment sales on the books so we're not sure what we'll find. Our area is ripe with stay-at-home moms, and boy do they know how to do up the sales - both planning them and taking advantage of them. Plus we've got three showers. So I need to be patient, but I can't shake the gut feeling that this little girl is going to come early. And I want to be ready.

Pictures of you

We get to see our baby girl at our OB appointment this Tuesday. At 20 weeks I had a low lying placenta and they want to make sure it's moved (I'm not even going to start stressing about that since in most cases, from what I've heard, the placenta will have shifted as the uterus grows).

I can't wait to see her! It's been months since we've had an ultrasound. YAY!

I'm trying to think of something, anything, non baby-related to write about, but let's face it - she's all there is right now. Which is probably how it should be.

I have my first baby shower this Sunday.

Oh, wait, I did think of something non baby-related! But crap, I forgot it already! Seriously?! Yup, I did. It's gone. Maybe next time.

Friday!

I kind of thought Friday might never come this week!  But it has!  Oh, thank you horrendously stressful and busy week, for FINALLY ENDING! 

 

I've been thinking about bed rest lately.  Longing for, is more like it.  I plan to work up until I have this baby unless circumstances dictate otherwise, but recently I've decided that if circumstances did dictate otherwise (as early as, say, now) I'd be totally fine with that.  My ankles and feet have started swelling.  A lot.  Like, hello major kankles.  Last night I drank plenty of fluid, rested with my feet up before dinner, went for a walk and then finally slept with my feet up in the hopes that I would once again be able see my ankle bones this morning.  Success!  But short lived success - they are starting to bulge again and it's not even noon.  It's the numbing, painful kind of swelling that leaves you aching for the day to end.  And, on some days, tearful when it won't come fast enough.

 

I have to say I've probably gotten off easy up till now.  I mean, okay, the first trimester (or at least the first trimester pre-Zofran) was hands down the most miserable physical experience of my life.  But post-Zofran, I've had a decent pregnancy.  I don't like carrying around extra weight, and I'm exhausted.  My back hurts.  My clothes don't fit (obviously) and getting dressed for work is a struggle.  But other than that, I'm not limited by being pregnant.  I can still do most of what I want to do.  Maybe I can't bend over quite as easily anymore, but even that, if push came to shove, I could manage. 

 

But I think I'm nearing that stage now, starting the 33rd week, where I'm uncomfortable.  And it's mostly the kankles that are doing me in.  That and the back pain.  So if my doctor told me that she'd prefer I no longer haul my large belly into the office and instead stay at home with my feet propped up, I'd take her up on the offer even though the loose ends aren't yet neatly tied up here at work.  I had my meeting with HR yesterday about leave paperwork, so I'm ready to go whenever I get the signal from my doctor or my uterus. 

 

Sadly, my OB just had a baby about five months ago.  She worked up until she delivered and then she was back in the office again 4 weeks later.  I'm not sensing that she's a sympathetic soul in this department, or that she has a loose wrist when it comes to signing off on disability paperwork.  So... how swollen do your kankles have to get before you have a legitimate case?  I'm guessing that unless they're accompanied by high blood pressure, I'm SOL...

Hey, stranger

Last night I didn't get home from a dinner until close to 9pm and Hubs didn't get home from work until midnight.  My ankles were so swollen my left foot went numb.  Hero work me up throughout the night, perched - as is now his custom - directly on top of my belly.  So tired today!  Thankfully, this evening both Hubs and I are home - we're desperately in need of some together time.  I don't know how we're going to raise a child when we only see each other on the weekends...

Mine? Mine. She's mine, right?

My biggest struggle with sleep right now is my littlest furry monster friend.  Hero has recently taken to coming up to my part of the bed at night and laying directly on my belly.  If I'm on my side, he lays on as much of my belly as he can, resting at least part of himself on it, not just against it.  If I'm on my back, he lays on top of me.  If I'm psuedo on my tummy (as on my tummy as I can get), he lays on my back.  He doesn't stay there all night, but leaves periodically and then comes back again.  It's hard to stay asleep with fur paws climbing all over you.

 

I think he thinks I'm cookin' this baby just for him.

Better late

Just in time for the baby's arrival, we finally got our wedding albums in the mail today!!!  2.5 years after the actual wedding! 

 

There's a story there, but it's long and boring so I'll spare you :)

Getting a grip

Okay, we have daycare in place!  WE HAVE DAYCARE IN PLACE!  Should all plans get shot to hell and Miss Mini Mac decide to arrive tomorrow, I would survive it now that we have daycare in place.

 

I *seriously* need to relax.  Talk about spinning out of control.  Today was ridiculous.  Someone should have tranquilized me. 

 

It's as if M3 knows that something has shifted - she's doing a little dance inside my uterus right now :)

All stressed up and nowhere to go

Foul mood Monday - I'm a ball of stress. Miss Mini Mac was moving around like crazy this morning and has become noticably still as my level of tension has skyrocketed. Mama's stressed, hunker down and wait out the cortisol influx. I'm so sorry Miss Mini! I hate it when my stress becomes her stress.

Waiting to hear back from first choice for childcare, and doing everything in my power *not* to check my home voicemail every 30 minutes. Please please please please please, I need to have this figured out. Oh, please. Please please please. Do not have filled this spot. Please have liked us enough to take our kid. And please call me soon to tell me you'll take our kid. Please please please.

We have childbirth class tonight. The topic is pain meds during delivery. Fun stuff.

I don't know why sometimes I'm cool as a cucumber and other times I'm out of my mind with anxiety. Today I'm definitely battling the latter. I seriously need to re-center. Right after I call my home voicemail just one last time...

This baby is expected to come in two months to the day. I suddenly feel wildly unprepared.

Two months to go...

I know, I know, I've been DISMAL about posting. I got so much better for a while! Okay, some quick updates:

• Nearing final decision with daycare - yay!
• Exciting possibilities on the work-from-home front, but still won't know anything for at least another month at the earliest :(
• Showers start next weekend and go through mid-May - fun :)
• Started childbirth classes every Monday night - very educational...
• Love love love the birthing center where we'll be delivering. Complete with in-house OB and NICU (for those of us who worry).
• Feeling great! Ankles are a little swollen, additional weight of belly is feeling a little, well, heavy. But all in all, I'm still able to be quite active and despite an overwhelming sense of fatigue I'm doing very well. My back hurts like nobody's business but I can handle it. So far. The giant exercise ball I balance on at my desk at work is saving my life.
• Have finally embraced maternity pants. Still squeeking by in two pairs of regular pants, but my days of working those into my wardrobe rotation are numbered. And not high numbers...
• No heartburn yet! Woohoo! By far, my least favorite of the anticipated pregnancy symptoms. Well, okay, the kankles might be my very least favorite, but I've already got those and so would seriously prefer to miss out on the heartburn if at all possible.
• Hero's doing well - allergies almost under control, ear infection clearing up, poor little guy has some serious issues to contend with in the spring!
• Next project on home improvement/get ready for baby list: transformation of formal sitting room into playroom! Requires installation of french doors to keep little rascal out (not the kid, the furry one...).
• Find out in two weeks if low lying placenta has moved - cross fingers. I'd prefer not to require a c-section right out the gate. If it comes to that, so be it. But I'd rather not have it be pre-determined by my placenta.
• And most importantly, baby update: she's moving like crazy and is doing great! I'm so excited to see her in two weeks - the one perk of the low lying placenta is that we get to have another ultrasound. I am so enamored with this kid and I haven't even met her yet. She rocks my world, literally and figuratively :)

So as you can see all is well, moving right along. I'll be posting more often now again - just had to get through a busy phase :)