A return

In some weird ways, life is reverting. I don't know if it's good or bad - it just is.

For the first time in months the kids next door came over to play with Hero. We'd banned the play dates back in October or November when we were more worried about Hero biting. On Sunday we saw the kids' mom in the parking lot of Target and let her know that Hero was mostly rehabilitated. So at 4:30pm today, the doorbell rang once, and then about fifteen times in rapid successsion until I let S and J in. They're in the backyard with Hero now, squealing and giggling and running. S fell face down in a giant puddle (it's disgusting here, all melty and rainy) and is dripping wet from head to toe, but still having a blast.

This means that from now on, I'll be interrupted every day, sometimes twice a day, by the incessent ringing of the doorbell and two little boys with gapped, partly-toothless smiles on my front steps. Whereas there was a time when this genuinely upset and drained me, now it's almost welcome. I say almost because it's difficult to not find the pounding of the doorbell irritating - I have to actually make an effort to find it endearing :)

Secondly, after much soul searching, I've decided to reup my gym membership. I'm doing this mostly so that I can take yoga and pilates classes - something to stretch out my tired winter bones - but also so that I can begin to find a compromise between my former self and my 'new' self. My former self being a compulsive over-exerciser pushing every limit, my new self being a woman trying to baby her body (pun intended, since this all began with our hope to start a family).

Going cold turkey worked well at first - it allowed me to see how much stress I'd been putting on my body and to gain some much needed extra weight and body fat percentage points. But it left me feeling like I'd gone from one end of the spectrum to the other, and so I'm searching for a happy medium. We'll see how it goes. I don't know if I've come far enough or not. But I know that I have my priorities in order. It's a baby-ready body I'm after, not a perfect one.

These two things have nothing in common, but somehow I feel like things are moving in a positive direction. Maybe it's the winter thaw outside that's allowing me to see that life won't always be how it is right now for us. The snow is melted, and I can see the grass underneath it. Times will change. I just have to be willing to let them.



Road Blocks and Roller Coasters said...

Life has a funny way of changing when you least expect it. I can say that where I am now is so different than where I thought I would be one or two years ago. It's amazing.

I think you are on the right track and you are doing the things that you need to do for you. And you're so sweet letting your neighbors play with Hero.

I'm hoping it all works out for you, sweetie. ((HUGS))

7:40 PM
Anonymous said...

Sounds like you're heading in a good direction. It's hard to do that in the winter, period. It was 65 today and reminded me that Spring is literally a month away, but I know it will snow again before then.

Don't forget to take care of yourself! Nobody else is going to do it for you. I'm the worst person in the world at this, it's a struggle.

8:57 PM
Bob said...

woohoo...it was 61 degrees here today in Michigan! Can spring be far behind? We've lost most of our snow, but not all. Not sure we're going to make the 100 inches this year though, we need 15 more inches. Unfortunately, yes, the MUD is now the predominant landscape.

12:39 AM
Swishy said...

Good for you. I was sort of thinking something similar the other day ... that I have a feeling that even though everything seems kinda blah and whatever right now, things are happening that I can't see yet. Nothing ever stays the same for too long, which can be a very good thing sometimes.

4:31 AM
~The South Dakota Cowgirl~ said...

This sounds positive to me, anyway you look at it!
I just recently started doing yoga and I love it. I don't have access to a gym since I'm in the middle of nowhere SD but I have a couple amazing DVDs. Good luck to you!

9:16 AM
~Virginia~ said...

having good gym classes is always a plus. ours has good equipment, but awful classes. bad instructors mostly. hope things go well!

9:33 AM
Michelle said...

It could very possibly be the warm up. I am feeling a million times better about life now that I can see an end to this winter.

9:52 AM
Anonymous said...

Good luck. I've been thinking of taking some yoga or pilates classes too, but don't know if I should join a gym or find a specialty studio. Or just get out the DVD's and do it at home.

11:28 AM
Danifred said...

What a wonderful blog entry. I hope that life begins renewing itself for you :)

11:40 AM
Anonymous said...

Keep yourself open to change and let it unfold . . . it is getting to be spring time after all.

8:41 AM
Bina said...

I am so happy for you and Hero! That is so wonderful for him, and for you, since I'm sure he gets a good workout.

And I give you Kudo's for realizing that a healthy body is very different from a stressed, too skinny body.

11:29 AM
Bina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
11:30 AM
Crys :D said...

i may be biased, but i think yoga will help. :)

12:59 PM
Anonymous said...


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