That's just happiness creeping up on you

It caught me by surprise today when I realized something: I'm genuinely happy in Boston. Because the first two and half years were an adjustment, I won't lie. I came to Boston alone and hated my job. I didn't like my first roommate and I didn't have any friends in the city. I got hopelessly lost all the time. None of these things would be insurmountable if you're feeling up for a challenge, but I wasn't. I'd essentially fled here. I'd dropped out of my phd program one year in, with my advisor's voice ringing in my ears. I'd turned down JYs marriage proposal. I'd walked away from a pre-determined, picture perfect life with JP. I was beyond heartbroken. And I wasn't sure I'd made the right choices. So I arrived on the scene pretty much feeling like I'd dismantled my entire life with one U-Haul run.

And for a while I wasn't sure how to put it all back together again.

But I guess that's what makes happiness so happy - you don't always expect it, and when it dawns on you that you've got it it's such a pleasant surprise. I think you have to create real happiness. It's a process more than a seratonin blip. But once you create it, you get to sit back and take it all in. I'm content with my life here. Everything has fallen into place.

I'm not really sure why I'm thinking about all this today. Maybe it's the warmer weather that makes you take a deep breath and reevaluate.