I know where to find you. Wait, do I? I'm not sure I do. This tracking number isn't working. You could be anywhere. Am I stupid?

Why am I unable to track a UPS package? I have never successfully done this. When people give me a tracking number I just think, yeah, right. Like that ever works. It always says my tracking number should be in a form it's not been given to me in. Like, it should be XXX-XX-XXXX and it's XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. Wtf???!!!

Ah, Monday mornings.