Just shoot me. I'll provide the bullets.

So, life is not so hot this week.

But first, the happy news:

  • I just found out another friend is pregnant - yay S! She and her husband definitely deserve this.
Now, the bitching bullets:
  • No luck on the job front. That's getting really really hard to swallow. When I went to get the taillight on the Jetta fixed I gave the guy in Service my name, and he furrowed his brow. "You're not in here. Could it be under D or P Mac?" I sighed. "Yes, D." I don't even exist without a job - the car account doesn't even have my name on it! I was pretty well known in my professional circle back in Boston, and now no one wants to get to know me out here. I'm quality!!! Plus I'm adorable. Just let me have an interview, you'll see!
  • The no job thing is starting to play with my wellbeing. I'm getting very upset. Last night I was practically catatonic by the time Hubs came home. You know when you get so upset that you can't even talk in a voice that doesn't sound depressed and hallow? That was me. I'd been anxious all day, hadn't eaten, and hadn't showered. Fun to come home to, huh? Don't worry - I still did my wifely duties (my only duties right now) and cooked a nice healthy dinner and cleaned up afterward. I know my incomeless place in this household.
  • This weekend we have a bunch of chores to do. Saturday we're helping Hubs' parents move some furniture around in their house, and then going to help Hubs' brother P with some in-depth house cleaning (he's putting the place up for sale next week on account of his recently finalized divorce). Then we have a family birthday dinner for P. We also need to mow our lawn and garden, so it'll be a weekend with little down time.
  • Since Hero left there were two muddy sort of spots on our carpet. We've cleaned them with Resolve carpet cleaner but this only seems to be making it worse (or maybe it's that the spots are wet so they look worse - I don't know!!!). I am preoccupied with those GODDAMN SPOTS! What good is Resolve? I mean, COME ON! WORK ALREADY!
So, this is really all I've got. I'm in a crap mood. And don't even have any other job prospects to apply for. There's. Nothing. Talk about a bad time to be looking. I just never saw myself here. Without a job. Ever. In my life. It's taking some getting used to, and I'm not able to reconcile it in a healthy way. I tried to give myself a pep talk last night in the shower: 'Everything else in your life is great! The move went well, you love your new house and neighborhood, your healthy and married to a wonderful man. You have so many great things, not revolving around employment, to look forward to in the near future. Suck it up!' But I'm having a hard time remembering that now. I need to go stick some affirming post-it notes up around the house.



Jenny said...

Okay, just because you are feeling so down, I'll break out one of my trademark cleaning seccrets... five words... Bissell Little Green Steam Machine. There, your life is instantly improved. You have no idea how many items around the house (and even outside the house) can be steam cleaned with this relatively cheap (under $100) little beauty... I've had it for two months and I've done:

The rugs
The couch
The loveseat
The living room chair and ottoman
The dining room chairs
Both cars, seats and floors
The boat cushions

I wish I could steam clean my life.. You will love it.

4:27 PM
Bob said...

Okay..you don't have a job. You WILL get a job. Until then, besides working in the garden, start working on a hobby. Make something. Occupy your time. Do something where you accomplish something and the feeling of well-being and worth will soon begin to squelch that "worthlessness" that is so pervasive when you are jobless. I've been there, and yes, it's difficult to even arise in the morning. But remember, YOU ARE ADORABLE! -- :) bob

5:13 PM