Enabling

Lately I've been trying to quit Starbucks. I'm not addicted to coffee, which makes this even harder. I'm addicted to a venti no-water toffeenut chai. Wussy, huh? So likely the addictive agent is more so sugar than caffeine. Yet it's still a struggle. I seriously can't quit. I think there's liquid heroine in my daily fix. One hypothesis I entertain is that I'm not even addicted to the drink, but to the paper cup. Starbucks has the best cups in world to hold in your hand for hours. Which is how long it takes me to nurse my chai. Really it's not just a beverage, it's an all-morning fidget.

Hubs is sometimes sympathetic of my plight, but at $4.38 a pop he occasionally get a bit grumpy. Understandable. What makes matters worse is that a few weeks ago I vowed to quit, and we went to Costco to get supplies so that I could make my own chai at home. We bought: a 3-pack of Tazo chai, 2 flavors of syrup, a 100 count box of coffee cups, and a 500 count box of lids. Of course, I can't get it to taste at all comparable to the real deal. But now when I break down and go to Starbucks, it's all the more aggregious because of my impulsive bulk purchases. I talked to Mookie about it and asked: "Why can't I just be a normal person? I mean, who goes whole hog into an experimental plan? Who buys in bulk without testing things out first? Why am I so impulsive? It's not normal."

Mookie agreed. "No, it's really not normal. Most people wouldn't do that." It wasn't said in malice. After all, Mookie's responsible for creating me. Any of my flaws could very well stem from his own genetic contribution. Perhaps that's why I opened the mail today to find a card from Mookie. As I slid the card from its envelope, a Starbucks card fell out. If you can't fix your kids, may as well try to keep 'em comfortable.