Is that Eau de Feces you're wearing?

The title of this post will make sense once you get to the end of it. The beginning and middle of the post have nothing to do with sh*t, so don't go looking for meaning where there is none :)

I'm trying to look on the bright side and shake it off, but I'm still feeling pretty bummed about the events of the past two weeks. It's hard to be happy right now. What I can't get past is, who's to say it won't happen again? It's hard to want to try for another pregnancy. But this experience cemented for Hubs and I just how much we're ready to be parents. So we're in a tough spot. Now we really want it. The ante's been upped.

According to my doctor and the ultrasound technician, my ovaries and hormones are perfectly normal. Last time I'd gone off the pill in Boston I hadn't ovulated regularly, and was apparently misdiagnosed by an RE out there with cystic ovaries. No cysts on the ultrasound, so I'm guessing my problems were just a result of being too thin and exercising too much. And maybe being under too much stress. My new doctor always said that diagnosis sounded wrong to him, but I figured my RE in Boston couldn't have been wrong - he was supposed to be The Best. Anyway, we've been given the precursory all clear, so now we just have to start trying. Still, I'm having trouble canceling the appointment with the IF clinic. I can't bring myself to do it. Five years is a long time to be stewing over a diagnosis that will render it harder for you to eventually get pregnant. I can't let that baggage go overnight, much as I want to. I'd love to have 5 minutes with that Boston RE. His hasty diagnosis has caused a lot of unnecessary fretting.

In other very happy news, my oldest, dearest friend P just had her baby girl, Nina Marguerite! Nina weighed in at 7 lbs 9 ounces and was born this past weekend. Both mom and baby are home and doing well! And dad is loving every minute of his new role. I only have a picture on my phone, but I'll post another as soon as I can. Nina is wicked CUTE! I know P will make a great mom and have a household full of love, understanding, and laughter.

I just got back from the dog park with Hero, who rolled in poop. Yup. Right at the end of our time at the park, of course. On our way toward the gate. I am grumpy because I had to give Hero his second bath this week, and he is angry at me because he's all wet. Still, he's loyal enough to be curled up at my feet. Well, either that or he wants to torture me with the scent of wet dog.



DeeMarie said...

I can't try to understand what you're going through. I can say I was already told that I'll have issues when I try, so I know what having that diagnosis feels like.
Take the all clear and roll with it (though, not in the poop like Hero did!!)
Fingers crossed...

3:36 PM
Moxie said...

1. That is awesome about receiving the all-clear! Woohoo!

2. The fear and trepidation are part of the normal emotional spin cycle us lucky gals get thrown into post-miscarriage. It just means you need some time. The knowing you want it, though, is huge.

3. Now that you're uber-healthy, it's there when you're ready to go for it. Try and be patient with yourself--the general rule is wait three months after a loss before trying again, not only to give your body a chance to recover but to give yourself a chance to heal. We're all behind you!

3:44 PM
Anonymous said...

I don't have any advice, just *hugs*.

3:44 PM
~Jennifer~ said...

I can't tell you anything about the miscarriage, as I've not yet been bit with the baby bug (helps to have someone you WANT to have kids with in your life), but I can tell you that time makes almost everything better.

I'm glad you're in the all clear and deemed healthy enough to have a baby, so that's the bright side.

As to the dog- my dog rolls in shit constantly- since he spends all day on the ranch with me daily. I've given up on trying to keep him clean.

4:34 PM
jenboglass said...

Good thing on the all clear from the doctor. I know what you're going through. Hubby and I had fertility hills to climb as well. In the end, we adopted. I'm glad we did. It was the right thing for us. Keep positive.

5:31 PM
Fertilized said...

i am sorry that you have received some contradictory medical advice, disgnosis etc. you are in my thoughts.

Hero .. Give Mom a break PLEASE

8:27 PM
Jenny said...

I know that feeling well sweetie.. it's like your innocence has been taken away. When I was pregnant for Jack, I was blissfully ignorant.. it never, and I mean never crossed my mind that anything bad could happen. After everything that happened in April, well.. let's just say that will no longer be the case. All you can do is hope for the best... that's it... and that's everything...

Keep your appt with the IF guy..if only to clear up any misconceptions... It's better to know, and to have the contact if you need it.

Hugs to you sweetie.. I'm thinking about you.

9:00 AM
Steph at Problem Solvin' Mom said...

So glad you've been cleared to start trying, praying for your comfort and peace.

As for that eau de poo poo, our dog has done that too and I always think I should have seen it coming...I think it's territorial, I KNOW it's gross! ;)


2:55 PM
HeatherPride said...

Whew, when I see my dog rolling around in the yard on his back I know it's going to be a trip straight to the bathtub. Ugh.

Did you keep your appointment? I think I would too, because getting other medical opinions doesn't hurt and it will make you feel better if they confirm what you've been told already, think?

7:52 PM